Miscarriage

It felt right to document this because it was a hard thing, but we were able to see lots of tender mercies from The Lord.

We found out we were pregnant on Sunday, January 21st. We had been trying since October and we were in shock.

The test we took on Sunday showed the faintest blue pregnant line of all time so we were a little hesitant to get too excited. So we took a test Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday, just because we were smiling so big with excitement and it was starting to hurt. We wanted to be 100% sure before we told anyone. 

As mentioned before, I took a test on Saturday. The one wasn't so much because I didn't believe the other tests, but more because I felt different when I woke up that morning...like not pregnant different. But the test still came out positive. 

Here is the part of the story where things went downhill. 

I took a shower at around noon and I noticed that I was bleeding. Well that bleeding never stopped. So I called the nurses line for my OB/GYN and because it was a Saturday they told me to go to the ER. Thankfully, we have the sweetest family so when we texted them to tell them what was going on they sent us lots of love and prayers. Another tender mercy was having a sister-in-law, Renae, that had just had a miscarriage a few months previous. I quickly texted Renae when we got to the ER and asked her to give me a breakdown of all the tests they would do on me. Ryan and Renae were actually the only people that knew we were pregnant. On Friday, the day before the miscarriage, we had been at their house playing Rummikub and I was picking Renae's brain about their baby experience and she totally guess that were were pregnant. 

They did an ultrasound on me and they didn't see anything, but they still tested my blood. (here are my only complaints: The blood test were terrible. They took out like two handfuls of vials of blood. I have never been so close to passing out in my life. Also, the ER was sooooo crowded that day, and people were sick with the flu and they were not wearing masks. Gross!) They found out that my HCG levels were indicating that I was pregnant, but they were at a 16 which is really low for being 1 day away from 5 weeks. 

Our baby's due date would have been September 30, 2018. In my mind it is a girl and we are exactly 25 year apart.

I am sad that we miscarried, but I am so happy that it happened so early on in the pregnancy. The whole thing seemed a little dramatic for my style. I am not and ER girl, but we needed to make sure that it wasn't an eptopic pregnancy, and doctor offices are closed on Saturday/Sunday. Luckily I had minimal cramps, and the bleeding was like a period, it just lasted more days than normal.

Conner has been amazing this whole time. After the ER we got a steak dinner because I needed iron, and Ryan and Renae brought dessert and laughs to our house. Conner seemed a little nervous at the ER, but he kept the tissues stocked for me and never stopped holding my hand. He is the absolute best husband, and I am so grateful that I have him through the good and bad. He is truly my best friend. 

We have decided to let life calm down a little before we try again, but we will try again.